2p Oneshots!
by L'italiano
Summary: Just a bunch of random short stories about the 2p’s that i wrote a long time ago. I will be using some OC’s in here so please don’t complain because you have been warned here and I will warn you before each chapter! • •


**Warning: There is cussing in this and I am using my own OC (2p Sicily) in this fanfic, please don't complain about her in the comments, I warned you. ••**

"Hi, Lutz dear!" Flavio says as he walks into the room Lutz and I were in, disrupting our show that we were watching. Both of us turn our heads in the direction of the voice, away from the TV to look at him.

"Hm." Lutz grunts as he glares at Flavio, as he hated missing anything for this show. I also glare at Flavio, growing up with him I learned that he could be annoying, but never has he done anything like this before. He's done a few stupid things involving Luciano, none of which I'll say.

"My boy-friend, CUTE!" He cheers before shooting a supposedly "sexy" pose at Lutz before proceeding to try and "cuddle" with him. _What the hell is he thinking?_

"Che?" I question as Lutz shoves Flavio off of him, he then proceeds to stand in front of me, protecting me from the monstrosity known as Flavio, or my brother for short.

"He's my smoking hot boyfriend, got it?" I hear Lutz's voice say, but I know for a fact his lips didn't move. _What the fuck is this?_

"Flavio, what the hell is this? You're disrupting our alone time." Lutz growls before storming over to Flavio and chocking the life out of him, lifting the blonde Italian off the ground.

"Awww, you're too embarrassed to say! You better give up while you're still ahead little girl. I'll have you know that our love has been reborn many times, right?" Flavio manages to say, trying to pry Lutz's hand off his neck as he gasped for air.

"Che?! Flavio you're dead!" I yell, lunging at the Italian before another one of Lutz's voice recordings come on.

"Right. I was a Shepard in my past life." The voice recording declares, only making Lutz even angrier than he already was.

"I HAVEN'T EVEN DIED YET DUMKOMPH! WHERE IS MY KNIFE?! I'LL CUT YOU INTO A MILLION PIECES!" Lutz yells, not releasing his grip on Flavio as he looks around for his knife.

"And I was pure and innocent sister of the church!" Flavio chocked out as I find Lutz's knife resting on the small coffee table resting in front of the couch. Picking the knife up, I walk over to Lutz and place it in his hand.

"LUCIANO BETTER NOT HAVE TOLD YOU TO DO THIS YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" Lutz yells, making Flavio shrink in his grasp as he goes silent.

"Why would I do that? I don't want to traumatize my sorella." Said person comments, leaning against the doorframe before sighing. "Sure he's stupid enough to do that, but I have more important things to do than bother you. Plus, I'm not that immature." He gestures to Flavio before splitting his weight evenly between both of his feet and walking away.

"What caused you to do this you little dumkomph?!" Lurk questions Flavio, putting the knife to his throat to cause him to talk.

"N-nothing! I w-was just b-bored and f-felt like m-messing with somebody!" Flavio yells frantically, Lutz glares at him for a few minutes before releasing his grip, causing Flavio to hit the floor. Once Flavio could stand again, he was out of the room as fast as lightning. Lutz sighs before turning around and facing me.

"You're not getting him back?" I question the tall German, knowing how much the whole thing embarrassed him. Lutz sighs again before walking up to me, firmly placing his hands on my shoulders and walking me back to the couch where we layed down again.

"Later. Let's just finish the show for now." He says as he fixes his eyes on the TV screen.

"There's still something wrong, spill." I say sternly as the show comes back on, turning around to look up at him.

"He has a lot of balls to pull something like that. I'll get him back for it, and you're helping me." He replies bluntly, turning me back around so I could watch the show as well. _Fine by me._ I think as we watch the show in silence. As soon as the show ended, Lutz spun me around to face him and we talked strategy.

Flavio moves out after we put our plan into play, he, until this day is still too scared to come within a mile of Lutz and I.

"Nice going sorella, you got rid of the idiot." Luciano inquired the morning after Flavio moved out, tossing me 20 Euros as he took a bite of his pancake.

"You're not mad, are you?" I question, grabbing the 20 Euro bill and putting it in my back jeans pocket. Luciano narrows his eyes at me as he swallows his bite.

"Do I look mad?" He questions seriously, raising an eyebrow.

"No." I reply seriously, taking a bite of my own pancakes.

"Because I'm not. I gave you the Euro as Grazie and I still need to give Lutz his." Luciano explains, taking one last bite of pancake and washing his plate off. "I'm off now. Ciao." He says before walking out of the house, closing the door behind him.

Two years after that event were peaceful for the 2p's, with Flavio gone we got more peace and quiet around the base and in the World Meetings. Everyone still tried to kill each other at least once a day but at least we didn't have that girlish bastard there anymore.

 **Hello there! I really hope you enjoyed reading this as I had a good time writing it, I don't have anything against Flavio it's just that the event that Pom place got his character for me, please forgive me Flavio fans! I won't hurt him anymore in the future, or at least I'll try not to...anyways, I hope you enjoyed, bye!**


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